Don't underestimate the effect of the last few years on our young ones....
We might think that all the stress of the Covid-19 uncertainties fall on us; the adults, the responsible ones, the ones who are supposed to look after others and come up with solutions. It certainly does! But not without giving a great splashback onto the rest of the family. Children are much more aware than we realize; of what goes on in the household, the mood of the parents, the status of the relationship between mom and dad and how much time, money and extra patience is allowed (or not allowed) for the kids.
Here are 7 ways you can help lessen the stress the little ones experience. To make sure that even in this historic time we are currently living in, they can still enjoy a carefree childhood without having to 'adult up' too much:
1 - SAFE SPACE
In uncertain and potentially dangerous times, it is one of the most important things to make sure your child has a place where they feel safe. Every time we go to places that we usually never thought of as unsafe, like the grocery store, a restaurant or even a friend's house or family gathering, we now have to protect ourselves and be on the lookout for this unseen 'enemy'. Our homes are now our number one safe space and for kids might feel like a 'den' where no one is allowed to 'catch you'. If it is possible to create another safe space like this, outside of the home, it will have a tremendous impact on a child's perception of safety. It is however important to choose this safe space wisely, and make sure it is actually safe. A small, intimate dance studio is a great example. A controlled environment, with limited access, and well-managed interaction. A great place for children to be physically and emotionally safe. Somewhere outside of the home to feel normal and be allowed to totally be yourself.
2 - EMOTIONAL OUTLET
Whether we like it or not... some new, unfamiliar and even unwelcome emotions will be found inside ourselves and definitely our kids as well. For kids who might not have experienced these emotions before, or this intensity or frequency thereof, it will be important to have a way of dealing with these feelings. It is important that the way they blow off steam is healthy, safe and uplifting, in the way that it leaves them in a better place after getting it out. Experiencing emotions is not a negative thing, but what they make us do, can be questionable. Movement is a natural, healthy and positive way to get rid of unwanted emotions. When done in the right context, with the proper supervision, something beautiful might even be created in the process.
3 - FOCUSED PERSONAL ATTENTION
When a child feels confused, frustrated or uncertain, it brings a lot of peace and comfort when they feel they are seen, heard and have someone attend to them personally. Even in the most loving homes, parents might seem distracted and inattentive to their kids simply due to the fact that the parents are now working from home. The child is used to having all of the parent's attention when they are home, because being at home would mean family time. Now, at home time needs to be split between the father being there but not allowed to be disturbed, and being the usual approachable dad! Sometimes it might be healthy to still split the family up for different activities during they day. Sending a child to do an activity that they love, with a dedicated and caring supervising adult can give the child the undivided attention they require, while taking away the feelings of guilt from the parents for not being able to constantly spend time with the kids. El'Shebang Dance offers intimate classes with personal attention and individual correction. We have only 2 -6 dancers per class. In our studio you become part of our dance family as close bonds gets formed in the dancer-teacher relationship.
4 - PHYSICAL EXERCISE
With all of us being locked up in our homes either due to strict restrictions, or due to our own rules we set up in the hope of keeping everyone healthy, it is so easy to slip into not-so-great habits that keep us stationary. It is a massive temptation to end up spending hours in front of the television, or on social media. We all know that when we are not feeling so great and even feel a hint of depression creeping up, getting up and DOING something is the best medicine. Something like a dance class is excellent physical exercise that release loads of endorphins that is a happiness booster and even a pain reliever. It is also great because it is scheduled, so you do it regularly. It is done in a group, so you have team mates who are natural motivators. There is a teacher who expect you to show up, therefore keeping you accountable. Unlike any other form of repetitive exercise, which is also great for releasing endorphins, dance is exercise with measurable improvement as you see yourself being able to do more and do it better every week, This keeps us easily motivated as the results are obvious. Being physically fit and healthy is also great for your immune system, which is cardinally important with a virus on the loose!
5 - BE CREATIVE
Creative, in the sense of actually creating something! Making something exist, that would not be there without you. When it feels like life, or the virus or the government, or whoever we choose to blame that day, is destroying our plans, our hopes, our expectations and a little bit of our zest for life, you still have the power to create something. Counter the feeling of defeat, by creating something new (and maybe ever better) in the place of whatever feels lost! Dance is art! Our bodies are the canvasses. We are the sculptures. When dancing we draw pictures with our movement. This is an incredible feeling to be able to create something, and to have that piece of art be a part of you that cannot be separated from its creator. Being able to create something gives us a sense of control, a glimmer of hope and joyous expectation of the good in life.
6 - AVOID AVOIDANCE
There is a difference between pondering on the negative and fixating on what you can do nothing about, and actually just avoiding the elephant in the room. It is important to tell the real truth to our children. This being said, there is no need to divulge unnecessary information that will confuse and scare them. But if we keep them in the dark, they might make up a far worse false truth in their minds that will cause even more emotional chaos. Coming to their dance studio on a weekly basis, where we do wear masks, sanitize, practice social distancing and do the risk questionnaire, they get confronted with reality in a controlled manner. They are not denying the situation, but they are not unnecessarily exposed to it either. When a discussion starts between class mates on a current Covid-related situation, the conversation will be directed to appropriate facts and refocused to suitable content. This is possible because the classes are small enough for the teacher to be aware of everything going on between dancers.
7 - FUN!!!!
So basic that it might end up being forgotten... When having fun, you are enjoying yourself, indulging in the moment and creating fond memories. Our brains will always tend to remember to good stuff, even if the bad stuff feels overwhelming at the time. Yes, we will remember how tough it was, but the fond memories of fun times during the tough times, will be what our hearts treasure for years to come. The fun and happy times during the times of struggle might stand out even more in our recollection of the past, because of the bigger contrast between the positive and negative experiences in a specific time frame. When having fun, you tend to be in the moment and focus on the here and now, which helps a great deal to let you get away from those nagging and worrisome "what if's".. Let's face it, DANCING IS FUN! It's not something we do because we have to, we do it because we want to! And that is sadly also why it is one of the first things we stop doing when we switch to survival mode. If we only realized that we will stop feeling like we're barely keeping head above water if we just added "Having Fun" to the list of compulsory things we HAVE to do to stay human ;-)
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